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Archive for May, 2010

Amando de Ossorio, the director of the wonderful BLIND DEAD series, is a director out of his element, cut from a cloth that long went out of fashion, an artist born too late. Filmed twenty years eariler, his schlocky horror films would be iconic classics today. As it stands, made in the 1970s instead of the 50s, his films are laughably bad. Especially, this one.

HEEEEEY Girl, love your top!

Basically, the story of a haunted jungle curse. So many different elements collide, that it becomes impossible to figure out what sort of horror or monsters or horror monsters, we are dealing with. There is a voodoo ceremony. There is a kidnapped white lady who is sacrificed to some leopard spirit. There is the murder of the natives which creates their haunting grounds, I guess. There are the leopard bikini clad vampire ladies who may not be vampires at all.  There is even a native gypsy woman (named Tunika!) who gets to make it with her white hero in the river!

Also, there is the group of moderns who venture into the jungle to explore or photograph or otherwise act like dummies the whole time. The women trudge through the dense brush in white go-go boots and knotted little tops. While the men carry more photo equipment than a local camera shop. Its absurd and hilarious!

So all of de Ossorio’s obsessions are on full display – there are topless women tied up and their clothes whipped off and beheaded in order to grow fangs and get a leopard bikini;  there are zombies that might not be zombies but demonic vampires who do not need blood but need to make more vampires to stay alive;  and there are half naked black actors jumping around in funny masks and other thatched underwears in some pathetic re-enactment of National Geographic photostories. All this rears its ugly head, in this cheapo Universal Monster’s ripoff.

The vampire leopard women bounce through the sandy forest, that passes for darkest Africa, in slow motion while a whirlwind of organ and creature sounds explode on the soundtrack. The leopard vampires are stupid, whispering dullards that have none of the cachet of the Blind Dead. Then there are the black people, proving that not all tribes in Africa got rhythm – seriously, worst native frenzy dance ever. So by the time the gotcha ending pops up, I didn’t care anymore. Disappointing really. Mainly, because the stupidity was overwhelming and I found myself fast forwarding through the slow motion bouncing as the leopard women chased their prey. So sad.

Whoa. Check out this cool comix!

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